“The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’” C.S. Lewis
Friendship arises out of a common purpose. That never seemed right to me? In my mind, I’ve always thought of friendship as a bit more organic and less structured. Maybe friendship happened because I was just good at being a friend? Who wouldn’t want to be friends with me (hello, pride!)? But it makes complete sense for friendships to be formed around a common purpose. We aren’t friends with people we have nothing in common with? That’s what acquaintances are for!
I began my Bible reading for the year in the book of Philippians. Right off the bat, the tone of the epistle is noticeably cheery and friendly. Paul and Timothy are speaking to friends. Paul mentions he feels joyful remembering them, he wishes them grace & peace (a common greeting for Paul regardless), and he longs for these believers with deep affection. Paul cares about the Philippians a lot and when reading his words I couldn’t help but see an outline for gospel-based friendship that looks like this.
1. “All my remembrance of you…” Philippians 1:3
It may seem obvious but friendships rely on thinking about your friends. Paul even qualifies this statement with the word “All.” He’s not just remembering them once, but a lot. He recalls their relationship, he reminisces about being with them, and remembering them causes him to be grateful to God. It’s not a good feeling when a friend does not seem to care about what is going on with your life, but how great is it when a friend whom you haven’t seen forever remembers you! It’s awesome when a friend checks in with you and tells you that they thank God for you! Friendship relies on remembering your friends.
2. “in view of your participation in the gospel…” Philippians 1:5
Here we see the common purpose for Christian friendship. When one comes to Christ, they suddenly enter into a vast, multi-ethnic, multi-cultural community that they have a common purpose with. The gospel unites people who cannot even speak the language!
3. “that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
Paul addresses Philippians to the saints and deacons/overseers of the church in Philippi. This is a community of people, regardless of their position or power, who Christ is perfecting. The deacons/overseers do not skip this process any more than the laypeople do. Everyone who reads this letter is in a community of people being perfected by Christ.
4. “And this I pray…” Philippians 1:9
Paul offers a beautiful prayer in Philippians 1:9-11 that is especially poignant for our modern church and its controversies. In verse 9 he starts his prayer with an appeal to love. Not just a feeling either, but something that “abounds” or overflows or fills everything up. It’s an echo of 1 Corinthians 13:13, “the greatest of these is love.” Paul wants the gospel communities to abound in love. But this love is not subjective or self-expression, Paul grounds it in something or someone. Specifically “your love may abound more and more in real knowledge and discernment…”. What is this knowledge and discernment? It’s a love that abounds in the transcendent knowledge of God and His commands.
This is why in verses 10 and 11 Paul shifts his focus to a community that has moral obligations. A gospel community must “approve of things that are excellent…” so that we can be both “sincere and blameless.” Love is the central focus, but love leads to moral commitment and expression tied to acknowledging the person from whom all love comes. We cannot disconnect love from these moral commitments. And in order for a gospel community to exist, it must get this right.