I was pastoring in Springfield, Missouri when a college student came up and asked to speak to me about something going on with his parents. After service, we sat down in the corner of the sanctuary and the student broke down in tears because his parents were divorcing. He explained that his mom had been having an affair, no longer loved his dad and was moving out. Sadly, in my pastoral ministry, this is not the first conversation I’ve had like this, but unlike the previous times this one took a turn I was not expecting.
“She’s moving out and many of our friends and even some of our family are celebrating it. It’s like I can’t be hurt and upset about it because I’ll be judging her or saying I don’t want her to be happy.”
Okay, that’s a weird one. Why would anyone celebrate the dissolution of a 30+ year marriage? He went on to explain,
“I am not okay with my mom moving in with her girlfriend…”
Now it all made sense.
As the Senate got closer to codifying gay and interracial marriage I was surprised I did not see much discussion in my social feeds on the bill. It’s very much a part of the culture war (to be clear: I’m speaking ONLY about the gay marriage portion of the bill), but if my feed is any indication it seems like people have put down their arms on this issue. Why?
I think there are many reasons. Homosexuality is not only culturally acceptable but celebrated - it seems like every week. It’s everywhere around us instead of being a hush-hush subject. Folks are getting to know people or family members who
*come out* and deeply seated homophobia gets exposed and moving them to acceptance in response (I’ve always wondered why this is the only possible outcome of getting rid of your bigotry?). Even churches are rethinking their positions on homosexuality, with some even embracing it at the denominational level. Heck, even the uber-conservative Mormons supported the Senate bill to codify gay marriage (granted it was because of the so-called religious exemptions more than the bill but still who saw that coming?). It seems like folks are throwing up the white flag on this aspect of the culture war issue and the majority of both sides are hoping we can all “agree to disagree” and live in peace now that gay marriage is soon to be the law of the land. But is peace possible?
Now, my dear reader, I imagine you may be thinking this post will go a number of different ways. If you’re pro-gay marriage, you may be expecting this post to be a long explanation of my opposition to it. You’re probably revving up to blast me for not being pro-gay marriage. And if you’re a supporter of marriage you are probably expecting me to:
1) “own the libs”
or
2) come out in support of gay marriage.
The answer for all of you is I’m not going to do any of that. Then what is this post about? Well, my question! Can we live in peace? Let me explain.
In all of the debates, discussions, and arguments I’ve either been involved in or watched from the sidelines regarding gay marriage, homosexuality, and what the Bible has to say about it, it’s always come back to one question for me.
What is fornication?
In most of our Bibles, fornication is translated as “sexual immorality” (I’ll be using them interchangeably throughout), and whenever it occurs, the writers of Scripture use the strongest language possible to say to avoid it. Sexual immorality usually meant unchastity or any sexual intercourse or sexual act outside of the covenantal marriage bed. Further, Jesus DID define marriage in Matthew 19 as being between a male and a female. And further, He universalized this definition for all humanity by tying it into the pre-fall creation event. This means that sexual immorality is a sin that anyone, at any time, and anywhere can commit - up till recently anyway.
Later on, the Apostle Paul elevates fornication above almost all other sins (I always think of this when someone says “it’s just like any other sin?!”):
“18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
1 Corinthians 6:18-20.
The author of Hebrews says that those who fornicate are under God’s judgment:
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Hebrews 13:4.
And elsewhere, the Apostle Paul states that it is the very will of God for our sanctification that we abstain from sexual immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7).
These are dire consequences. The authors of Scripture are clear that we cannot be at peace with God if we practice sexual immorality. But what happens when something that was close to universally accepted as sexually immoral for over 3,000+ years suddenly becomes a *good*? Do those pronouncing this *good* consider for a second that the hermeneutic often presented is “did God really say that” for thousands of years? What ends up being the limiting principle in defining sexual immorality? What is sexual immorality? Can one even be sexually immoral (as evidenced by my opening story)?
I’ve rested in what is the clear teaching of both Scripture and Jesus, but I worry for those who would fall prey to the woes of Isaiah:
"Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!" (Isa. 5:20.)
Woe is the opposite of peace.